Reconnecting with my roots: Relearning what it is to be a Dominican
I am a Dominican—no really, I am. Usually, this is what I have to say to those who meet me. Then, watching the confusion fill their eyes, I mentally prepare myself for the family history lesson that I have to give to prove my heritage. Hi, I’m Christie, a Dominican/German girl who has spent most of her life living in England. The only thing is, I don’t look or sound Dominican at all. My whole life has been a guessing game of “pin the country on the gringa,” with often more wrong answers than right, and, after a myriad of nationalities gets thrown my way, I dejectedly have to explain how it is that I came to be. Often met with surprised or unbelieving looks, I go on to explain that my mother, Marilin, a proud Dominican woman, met my German father and then eventually went on to marry my Croatian/Australian stepfather. An exciting mix of a family, believe me. If only I could walk through life with a sign on my back explaining it all; I could save myself the trouble of going into depth about my family tree, especially when talking to people who really don’t seem all that interested once the moment has passed. I am constantly looking to prove my worth as a Latina, whilst striving to find peace within my culture, a culture that I never got a chance to fully know.
Growing up in the United Kingdom (UK) was not without its challenges, particularly due to being a first-generation immigrant with no grasp of any form of English. My mother, seeing this, decides to fully immerse herself in the culture and language, insisting on only speaking in English in the home to help us integrate ourselves further into British culture. Her fear was that people would judge us or treat us differently if they knew that we were not from there, especially because there are fewer than 2,000 Dominican people in the entire UK. Unlike the United States (U.S.), there are not many Latin influences in our popular culture or local communities, and, as such, it was very difficult finding ways to reconnect with where we came from. Lack of knowledge and understanding led to me wanting to learn more from relatives in the Dominican Republic (DR) and media from the U.S. Learning from afar made it feel impossible to connect with others. Constantly feeling like you’re playing catch-up while everyone else is leaps and bounds ahead of you makes you wish for an opportunity to feel connected with the rest of the Dominicans you see.
Spanish was the first language that I had ever learnt, a fact I remain incredibly proud of. However, once I moved to England, it became a constant battle to retain my knowledge whilst improving on the skills that I had already honed. My parents, the incredible people that they are, encouraged us to take classes every Saturday and encouraged us to make friends with any and every Latin family in an attempt to try to improve our Spanish. Despite their efforts, it still requires a lot of improvement. My sisters now study Mandarin, having already given up on learning Spanish formally, as they no longer felt the same urgency to fit into the mould of a ‘European Dominican,’ and they felt that they could never really connect with the culture of distant relatives. Always having myself or my mother to translate on their behalf made them comfortable, as it was a safety net that they could rely on. I can’t say that I blame them for moving forward in a different direction, as they found that they were more British than anything else with hints of Dominican and Croatian traditions here and there. I suppose that that is the benefit of having such a diverse family, although you never truly feel like one culture or another, you have a range of values that guide you through life.
Moving back to DR was a nerve-wracking experience, because, suddenly. I was far away from all I have ever known, and I didn’t feel like I could connect with people of the same level due to my shaky Spanish and the lack of the dominicanismos that I knew. All I knew is to take things one step after the next and know that I always had my family to help me. Luckily, whilst trying to get to grips with my surroundings, I learnt to put myself out there and make friends with many different kinds of people in my local community, which then led to me understanding more about life in the DR and how my different worldview could actually help those around me. This became clearer when working with my team at the DREAM Project, especially when I started helping with English and professional development classes. I found that, although my experiences were somewhat different to the students and my fellow co-workers, we also had many similarities and ways to connect with each other. I appreciated it when both my students and co-workers would teach me new phrases and idioms in Spanish whilst I would teach them British terms in return. That feeling of being connected never dissipated when I was surrounded by the kind and sweet people of my community, which goes to show how easy it is to move past each person’s differences and focus on the things that bind us together.
It is hard to say that my perception of who I am has never faltered, but I have discovered that being a Dominican is so much more than just growing up in DR. It is the culture, the history and, most importantly, the people. Getting to know who I am within my culture and learning from those around me has shown me all the different ways that we are connected as people. Whether it’s passing down old family recipes or telling stories about the history of our heritage, there are many little ways to feel connected to where you come from. We are all interconnected, and each has its own unique way of showcasing what it means to be a Dominican. Dominican, German, British…I am all of those things, and I couldn’t be prouder.
About the Author: Christie Polonia, Part-time Youth Programs Volunteer
Christie Polonia is a 22-year-old Dominican-German who grew up in England. She is currently undergoing her year abroad as part of her university coursework in International Development Studies and Spanish BA(HONS) at the University of Chester. She is enjoying working in an amazing NGO that works so hard for its community and hopes this year opens her up to new experiences and people.